Single Dads and Parenting
by D. Keith Denton and Wendy Ryerson
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Divorce is not by itself good or bad. It’s simply change and it all depends on how you handle it. It’s not the act of divorce that is so damaging. It is how it is often handled that is so destructive to lives. Both parents are needed by kids. Children, for example, who maintain a close relationship with their father tend to be more socially mature and to have fewer problems related to dating and sexuality.
Some studies show that only half of divorced kids had seen their father in the past year and only about fifteen percent had seen him once a week. But thank goodness there is something more important than being able to spend a lot of days with your kids. Being a dad has nothing to do about distance from your kids or how often you see them. It’s about building connections and you don’t need to be physically there to do it. Communicate by whatever means available. But that is not the only change that needs to occur.
Divorce is temporary. Most divorced couples remarry in about four years. The effects of the divorce can linger with you as well as your kids. Many men and women don’t handle it very well and get stuck in vengeful and negative thinking. For example a whopping 40 percent of mothers reported that they had interfered with the father’s visitation as a way to punish their ex-spouse. Such thinking doesn’t hurt your ex significant other, it only hurts you and your children. On this page you will find several forms you can use to improve your connections with your kids, help you better manage your priorities and help you get unstuck and move on for the good of yourself and your kids.
© 2012 D Keith Denton